end of the year post [677]

sobriety is not the destination. it’s a tool to get you on the road to happiness.


i stole it from read the sentence on sober sassy’s blog and YES said my brain, that’s a good way of describing what i am doing. because indeed, this year i have been struggling, it has not all been moonshine and roses but all in all i am pretty pleased with the progress and changes in my life.

december is the month of lists so here goes – my year in a list and things i am happy with/proud of/discovered/made progress with. i would have loved to come up with 365 things but i will not bore you πŸ™‚

  1. i cleaned my face and brushed my teeth before going to bed 364 times
  2. i had 365 non-hangover sleeps
  3. my concentration at work has improved
  4. my behavior at work is friendlier
  5. i looked for and found a therapist
  6. i am a happy regular runner (whilst i hated that with a passion)
  7. i (minimised) stopped gossiping
  8. i treated myself to three weekly massages
  9. i started playing tennis
  10. i am part of a weekly tennis team that plays in a competition
  11. i rediscovered the joy of yoga
  12. i am learning to be more honest
  13. i am learning to connect head and body
  14. i rediscovered the joy of reading books
  15. i like tea
  16. i made decisions and stood by them
  17. i am more accepting of myself
  18. i made plans
  19. i made plans and executed them
  20. i discovered i like plants
  21. and cooking
  22. my moods are getting lighter and more even
  23. i love my “stay here”bracelet
  24. i had 52 non-hangover saturdays and sundays
  25. i like to care for myself and do not find that selfish
  26. i start to like my body
  27. i am a tough cookie with a strong down talking inner voice
  28. i love wearing colorful feminine clothes
  29. i still like buying shoes
  30. 90% cocoa chocolate is the bomb
  31. i am starting to accept that life is not about quick fixes nor always-ever-lasting-happiness
  32. and being bored sometimes is okay
  33. it turned out i do have a sweet tooth

i have a little voice in my head that softly sings that next year is even going to get better. and you know what: i am trusting that voice. 2017 is going to be my year to shine.

and for you out there – i wish you exactly that, that 2017 may be your year – to shine and discover your good self!


surviving xmas [672]

i’m not a big xmas person – think it’s an overrated hysterical event although i do like the days off work that go with it πŸ˜‰

for years and years i have celebrated xmas with friends, as the family dynamics were not that flash and the diner would end up with heated discussions, quarrels, tears, shame and too much booze of course.

my xmas’s with friends were also with too much booze and other stupid things, but at least no fights.

anyhow. it was my second sober xmas day yesterday and i went over to friends, armed with a salad and apple cake. they had invited a lot of people so there was a nice mix of kids, aquintances and family. celebrating a kiwi xmas is different than what i’m used to, it’s outside, its way more relaxed and unofficial tho boozing is the same.

i made it through it all with an alcohol free beer equivalent, a couple of real nice talks and a bit of kid time. at 8 pm (it started around 3.30) i felt it was enough and coincidentally just then the whiskey bottle came out of the cupboard.

i felt a bit weird when leaving, the party pooper, the not fun person, the boring one. a couple of hours later pics emerged of the same event on FB, all about boozing after i left.

i still feel a bit weird.


hello my fellow dear helpful brave sober friends. 

yes i’m still here, yes i do read yours and react but do not write here, yes i’ve struggled with life, yes i still love the fresh morning wake ups, yes i love i have more peace and space in my brain, yes i’m still not a fan of the xmas hysteria and yes i’m celebrating day 666.

wishing you all well!