last night [1273]

it was way after dark. i drove past a parked car, saw some movement in it and sensed somehow something was not right. i decided to turn around and found this elderly lady sitting in her car on the road side.

she was gone. breathing but gone elsewhere. alcohol fumes punched me in the face when i opened the car door. in glimpses of coming to, she whispered she was on her way to commit suicide. she wanted to be dead. then fell away again.

with me somebody else had stopped and had called 111.

i felt so sad for this lady. drunk. depressed. suicidal.
known territory.

i sat with her until the ambulance came. held her, grabbed her hand which she responded to. the loneliness drenched off her.
very well known territory. so sad, so sad.

(today i learned she had gone home after spending the night in hospital. i decided to leave a note at her car. maybe she wants to have a cup of coffee or tea with me. maybe.)