note to self after day 82

going to the pub on Friday night was NOT a good idea.

black

the two guys in my company mainly talked about alcohol – brave stories and all the things they could not┬ádo if no alcohol was involved – which was quite annoying and boring.

on top of that the sort-of-ex-boy-friend turned up. i do not hate him, i just don’t want to see him, so the last thirty minutes being there i was pretty anxious.

after seeking the solitude of my good old home it took me ages to calm down, to not despair and resisting to go out and buy myself a nice bottle of soothing wine.

instead i took a loooooooooooooooooong hot shower, ate, had chocolate, watched telly.

and today, today, i still feel shitty, sort of sad, grumpy.

i know i want this, but it seems much easier to give in/give up.
aaaargh.

ps see that little light in the black┬ápic? that’s me not giving up