asked my best friend over the phone.
and I said no, no, no.
I am just way happier, relaxed, content, positive minded, full of plans, well rested, sensitive, attentive than I ever was.
and yes, I might be more outspoken about what I like and what I don’t like 😉
I can’t believe how sleep deprived I must have been.
currently, if my nights don’t have 7+ hours but preferable 8+ of real comfortable sleep I really feel it at the end of the day.
compare that to my late late nights every night because I had to finish off that second bottle. I had maybe 5 hours of shitty sleep, waking up in between and being nauseous the next morning.
hallelujah and poor old body of mine, have I mistreated that beautiful temple.
BUT NOT ANYMORE.
(I did a blood test last week on liver functions just for some encouragement. all levels are back to normal. hooray.)
which might be short and keyword like – hoping that it helps me ’cause I’m struggling.
last couple of days I have realised I’m bad in reaching out.
whenever I feel bad I hide.
when I feel like crying my mind reprimands me telling me I should stop whining (whining haha, not wining).
last week at work I had a bit of a breakdown and I started crying. with a laugh in between and many words to cover up what was happening. but damn I cried in front of two colleagues.
i am freakin’ tired of it all and feel alone and want somebody to take care of me.
now comes the funny part and I repeat “whenever I feel bad I hide”… how the f can somebody (anybody) look after me when I’m hiding? (and yes, I’ve done this for a long time hence why the booze came in so handy).