feeling bleh [511]

conclusion of the last month: moderation does not work.

as everything is like everything … this goes for love or booze and probably whatever.

no. I haven’t slipped up – still going (see title) – but am feeling flat as a pancake. and I know it’s because I try to moderate my feelings. the love I feel for that guy. the hope on something that lasts. dreams of what could be. if only. if only.

am sad and angry (I think) because it does not seem to work and I am keep trying. 

why do I do this to myself?