black, white, grey … anyone? [579]

as long as i’ve known myself i do things black or white. it is the one or the other but if i do the one – i find it hard to regulate. guess it’s all or nothing.

my history in this area has many of them: smoking (3x yrs), smoking the green stuff, not eating, over eating, fretting about what others think of me, filling in other one’s thoughts and let’s not forget the booze.

i’ve been able to overcome quite a few of the above but some behaviour i can not seem to get rid of.

do you recognise this as a boozer? is this common ground for us? is something defo wrong with me?

how do i stop this?

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6 thoughts on “black, white, grey … anyone? [579]

  1. Extremely common! It seems many of us drinkers (or ex drinkers) are all or nothing thinkers. Some of it is anxiety. We want to control things, to know how they should be.
    The grey area is much harder to define, so we get nervous.

    Finding the softness in the middle takes time. It means letting go of ingrained belief and becoming more open minded. But it make s life much easier.

    I still fall back into my black and white thinking…but I now take it as a sign I am grasping. Self awareness is key!

    Anne

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  2. Ghegheghe, yep. Black and white, on or off. That is a trait of the addictive personality. If you like you can read up on this in the book ‘Addictive personality’ by Craig Nakken. It is a leaflet like book which can inform you how it works. Second hand copies sell online for very little but (?) it is a VERY GOOD book.
    Getting comfortable with your feelings, being aware, is the ‘only way out’. Gheghe, that would be ‘junk speak’; always looking for a way out is part of the addictive personality too. Assuming that you are not ‘normal’ and that something is defo wrong with you is a trait too. Wanting to be normal is a ‘reason’ to use. Trying to stop this (IMEDIATELY!!!) equals the looking for ‘a quick fix’ which is another trait. Somehow people with an addictive personality have not learned to deal with feelings, stuff in life and they want to fix it by using substances or destructive behaviour like gambling to calm or excite themselves. The idea is to exactly NOT feel what is going on. 😦
    So yeah, familiar. πŸ™‚
    Ooh, the book Recovery 2.0 by Tommy Rosen would be a good read too to get some insight in this matter.
    xx, Feeling

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  3. I like Lisa’s comment! practice and time… sadly not available in a store near you. if only: “I’ll have five years of experience at dealing with my most troubling issue please, and no, no gift wrapping thanks, it’s for me” πŸ˜‰

    I guess the good news is practice and time are available to us all at no cost other than our own commitment. reaching out works for many if not all things, too.

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