a bad sort-of-ex-boyfriend relationship feels similar to quitting the booze.
i seriously had a day one (checking the phone every five mins,”may be i find a bouquet of flowers when i get home”, “shall i text him or not”, sitting on my hands – do not text him! and so on and in other words – obsessed with what i am trying to ban out of my life)
it’s now nearly a week and i get those thoughts. they go like this: “but it wasn’t that bad”, “as long as you don’t fall in love again there’s no risk seeing him now and then”, “maybe he does turn around one day, maybe this is how he shows his love”, “we would really make a good couple, if only …” (see what i am doing here? big similarities with what some people call the wine witch and others wolfie)
so. thus. i have decided i am allowed to be a bit sad today (just a bit – and may be it is not even about him, but just about the feeling i’ve lost something, the hope, the love i felt). oh. and i also bought ice cream, cookies and promised myself a glorious time in the tub.
because i am worth it!