almost 21 days

It’s a lovely sunny Sunday and I woke up refreshed and clear headed. I am so happy with my mornings still, no nausea, not having to check my phone to see who I have texted and/or called last night without remembering, no guilty feelings about what a bad person I am…
It really is the other way around, I feel positive opposed to depressed and energetic instead of very tired.

So that brings me again to the question – why does this seems kind of easy? I hardly have had cravings, a few of course, sort of out of habit I guess but not really. Probably the one thing I find the most difficult (and have been avoiding until now) is going out for dinner (let alone going out for a dance).

Oh wait – I did one last Thursday but had it well orchestrated, meeting up with a friend in a restaurant for about one hour and then off to the movies. She had a wine and I drank water. I did not explain a thing and oddly enough she didn’t question me either. I had expected she would.

She – or the last party I went to – was more or less the drop in the bucket. She threw a wedding party and I had already emptied a bottle of bubbles before I took a cab (how sensible) to get there. Free booze at the party and of course I ate a little. I remember I danced and danced, declared my love (and told everybody) to a guy I vaguely know and who didn’t bring his partner (sic!). As I was the last person to leave and obviously drunk, the newly wedded couple decided to put me in a cab and made sure I opened my door safely. I hardly could walk without falling.
At home I think I drank another wine and fell against a doorpost and hurt my elbow quite mean. Of course next day I felt really ashamed and texted them my gratitude for bringing me home safely but I was very afraid I had ruined their party and they would never see me again.

That was my last bad appearance drunk in public.
I have more of these on my sleeve but for now that’s enough as I’m starting to feel a bit sad.

To end this post on a positive note, this is day 21, I went out for dinner without a drink and I did it without major issues. Hallelujah.

Have a lovely Sunday xx

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